Resign to be happy

Resign to be happy

The permanent dissatisfaction just moving away from the goals that enrich life. Making decisions is a first step on the road to the enjoyment.

If we look around us we realize the great diversity of people around us. Very different from us people with their own priorities, values, hopes and fears. Although there are many things that separate us from them, a unites us in a unique way: the desire to be happy. But that joy sometimes we can be somewhat elusive.

We still do not know what brings us closer or farther away from it, so just confused, using large amounts of energy on issues that contribute little to our welfare.

We tend to associate the conquest of certain aspirations to happiness: “I will be happy when you change jobs,” or “when I get a couple, or” if I can divorce, “or” when I bought my own house. ”

Although we live naturally, when we reach one of these coveted goals, paradoxically we realize that happiness has not come. Sorry satisfaction with the achievement, yes, but this fades with frustrating speed.

Thus they pass the days and years, and we fail to understand that we live like mice on the wheel. Running a lot, but not getting anywhere. Because, he finished and we have set the following goal, without stopping for a second to enjoy what we worked so hard to achieve. We are never satisfied, we are unable to compromise. And that makes us unhappy.

In the novel 13.99 euros, Frederic Beigbeder, the protagonist, Octave, publicist, he puts it: “Whenever I manage that you may sinta is frustrated (…) I will drogo with novelty, and the advantage of the new is never it is long. There is always a new fad to make the previous age (…) In my profession, nobody wants your happiness, because happy people do not consume “.

And if you’ve been wrong all this time? And if happiness lies not so much in achieving certain aspirations and feel satisfaction with what we have already achieved? The feeling happy or unhappy is closely related to the way we perceive our current situation, that is, satisfied with what we feel about what we have at present.

In a society where prevailing values such as ambition, generating needs and pathological nonconformity, this is a very difficult goal to achieve.

Resign to be happy

The Buddhist philosophy holds that happiness is determined more by the state of mind by external events. Suffer such extreme circumstances such as serious illness or win the lottery can cause us to feel more happy or depressed in the short term but do not usually cause lasting effects on our mood.

This tends to return to its pre-level after a while, after a period of adaptation to the new reality. Too often we confuse the satisfaction or temporary pleasure with happiness, which is actually a state of mind because of how we face life. Therefore we live hooked to the achievement and become addicted to the fleeting emotions.

One way to approach the long-awaited happiness lies in getting a good balance between our aspirations, based on a legitimate ambition to improve our living conditions, and the ability to enjoy and be satisfied with what we have. It is more than likely that the mere reading of the word “settle” has triggered a kind of warning signal in the reader. It is normal, we are programmed to do so.

Avoiding complacency is a protective mechanism that allows us to continue making progress, but you can finish turning against us.

The ambition to advance causes society to prosper and humanity to take its course: without that urge to improve still be living in caves at the mercy of the elements. The problem is that we lack the capacity to appreciate what we have to get stuck in fear. We are always aware of what we lack, often without evaluating what we have achieved. We finished surpassing the natural aspirations to grow and prosper to lead to a sort of vital greed.

We are never satisfied, always want more, whatever, because more is always better, faster car, a bigger house, a smartphone and a more expensive school for our children. But as we said, this new way of life greed does not provide happiness, but rather a brief punctual satisfaction. Appreciate what you have and settle in a healthy way with it is the antidote to this endless wheel by the ever more.

We are constantly bombarded with the idea that we can have it all and we must not sacrifice anything. But this is, at best, a chimera put unrealistic goals or want to get to everything is the perfect recipe for a constant feeling of dissatisfaction. If we learn to identify the disclaimers that are behind our decisions and got to accept them, we will be closer to live more fully.

Consider, for example, in decisions such as changing jobs, having children or leave the relationship with our partner. Difficult, right? When we faced with a decision that we feel complicated, which really is costing us is not to choose one of those options, but forget about the rest of them. But life is so, we must learn to compromise in order to move forward. And hope to have it all leads to unhappiness.

Many people come to the consultation frustrated psychologists and psychiatrists because they feel they are unable to achieve their goals, and strive for more fail to be satisfied. This causes them anxiety and low mood, and may even damage their social relationships.

After analyzing your situation is not difficult to help them realize that it is impossible thereby obtain happiness, as this has conditioned on the achievement of certain objectives that usually are incompatible. It is difficult to own a home of many square meters and have much free time. It is difficult to spend more time with family and getting a promotion at work. It also costs more to make time to read books while meeting our Facebook wall. We must choose.

The way that our decisions make us happy passes necessarily accept the resignations as part of the process. The day does not have more hours. We must choose what to invest our time and effort. And that, again, involves sacrifices.

But they must be aware, decisions with determination and assuming the consequences. Conversely, if you just keep moving but wistfully imagining what never was, we will not value what we do have and that we have so painstakingly achieved. Sometimes the mind tends to idealize the roads have not followed, imagine a perfect future in which we made the right decision and where life is good. Make no mistake. No reality, no matter how good, bear comparison with a utopia.

We can get the most diverse goals in life, but they all have in common a further step, the most important: achieving happiness. Do not forget. Life involves taking many decisions constantly. But if we can shift attention from those quitting the ultimate goal, which is to obtain welfare, we find it easier to move forward.

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